How many more twists and turns could there possibly be regarding the sensational revelations of the past week? Barely had I buttered my cream crackers and sat down to browse the latest update, when my jaw dropped and my pupils dilated - Martin McGuinness was now being romantically linked to Iris Robinson!?
One link-click later and my palpitations began to subside as I realised that the by-line was a reference to Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness finally having gotten around to doing the thing that we all suspected they had already done many times and probably had done only the night before, around tea time - they had gotten yet another room. This time though they had gone just a bit further together and revealed that they had indeed held hands.
Good for them I say and all the better at a time when Peter must have been feeling a bit out of the loop and decidedly lonely. When the going gets tough, the tough hold hands and let there not be a word said against it.
Words against it were few and far to be seen anyway. It seems that in some not so strange way, all the media attention on the little foibles and sexual conduct of our 108 men (and women) good and true, has led to the focusing of minds in a way never quite seen before now.
Far be it for one such as I to be cynical but, maybe the revelations and the rumours of much more to come has been just the kind of lubricant required to get an agreement on policing and justice and all those other apparently vitally important topics that most of us know nothing about. Will it effect the price of butter or the price per wrinkle of dulce I ask you?
The seemingly inStormontable will now be Stormonted and after all thats why we have been paying them shed-loads of money and ignoring all their misbehaviour and avarice in the first place.
The cradle has been rocked a bit and left many worrying that if the Robinsons can be de-throned with almost five minutes proper and professional journalism, then the other Stormonteers had better forget delusions of grandeur and remember that mortgages, foreign holidays, free meals and fast cars along with fast living, costs money that very few of them could ever hope to earn any other way.
Best to take the money and run for the next election, in agreement. It would be an appalling vista if the British security services and some elements of the embedded media here were accused of being in cahoots to force an agreement but, surely no one would ever believe such a ridiculous conspiracy theory. Now isen't that right?
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