Beannachtai la le Padraig

Due to the total lack of interest in Paddy's Day and the underlying racism and meanness of spirit shown by ALL the political parties and ALL the Northern Ireland/British media, I'm in Dublin to see what they make of it there. Have a good 'un anyways.

Send Off The Clowns.

Last week I was browsing through the usual suspect’s media releases and absorbing all they had to say about this and that regarding life in this wee place. I suddenly stopped reading and listened as my inner dialogue whispered, “They will always push their own personal agendas and interpret every story to suit their own view and model of the world and they will only change horses and opinions when a better stable offers richer rewards. They pretend to argue with each other until that better offer comes along”.

That to me was and is a simple truth that the daily landfill of newspaper articles and electronic media try to trick us out of thinking about. The career politicians of all hues and their attached, scavenging correspondents feed the media a litany of bullshit that is refined and then fed back to the public. It is designed to make them look clever and good. They pretend sometimes to verbally attack each other and have feigned disagreements in a collective attempt to keep the man and women on the street interested but, separated from each other. Politicians and all who feed and swim with them are essentially professional liars. We all know this deep down but, they continually bombard us into giving them attention.

For politicians it all begins with the need for attention. They convince themselves very early on in life that what they think is important. This then deteriorates into a belief that what they say is important also and should be listened to and believed. Finally, they push and shove themselves shamelessly into the limelight until eventually the majority of them settle into an established party of other politicians that they can get along with. During this entire process they will pronounce at every conceivable opportunity how altruistic they are and how humbled they are to serve the public. This of course is the exact opposite of the truth. The only truth about politicians is that they are all consummate liars.

The media are more than happy to play along with this facade. Sometimes it's difficult to distinguish between the politician and the reporter. They are shape-changers depending on the salary. The trough is big enough for them all to snort some swill from. They feed each other and then feed us whatever suits them each day. They all pay mortgages and depend on this process for all their needs so it is imperative that they keep us interested in these liars and their lies. They all play the game. A rough interview here and an easy ride there; a political crisis here and an historic agreement there, it keeps them in free meals and tries to keep the hamsters on the big wheel.

I’m sick of it now. It’s not even funny any more. I used to get a laugh at the lies and the acting. It doesn’t even provide that any more. They have all settled into being the establishment now and they will stick together behind the doors of Stormont to make sure that they keep all the privileges they now have. It’s pure greed and it sickens me and makes my stomach turn. The money grabbers and the self-obsessed tricksters have taken control of the madhouse and they will fight tooth and nail to stay in control of it.

The fact that this means rewarding themselves with inflated salaries to match their inflated egos is a minor detail to them. Of paramount importance is to keep the ordinary decent people confused and never too far from poverty. If people start to look too closely at them or maybe don’t intend to vote for Stormont, they can threaten to implement water charges like they did last time. Blackmailing the poor to vote for Stormont or pay cash for their water was a new low.

It’s an exclusive club and membership is offered only to those who will play the game. New Sinn Fein; DUP, SDLP, UUP, Alliance and the individual wannabes are all up to their necks in a collaborative con trick. BBC; UTV, Belfast Telegraph, Irish News, Andersonstown News and all the pseudo journalists - all liars. Some create the lies and some are cheerleaders and promoters for the liars but, they are all basically the same gang.

There is not a truthful or honest journalist in this country today that is employed by any section of the established media. Some will dig and rant about some particular story or other but, they are just pushing their own personal agendas against someone they want to either promote or destroy. If they were genuinely truthful or honest, they would be unemployed because the established media does not employ those who are honest or truthful.

So for me the circus is full of clowns that hide a deep and menacing negativity behind the painted smiles. I have never understood what kind of person would want to be a clown or what the true motivation for such a career would be. Clowns have always made me uncomfortable in a skin crawling kind of way. Politicians and clowns have a lot more in common than hiding behind grotesque greasepaint to confuse us. They are both the opposite of what they try to portray and neither of them are funny.

Ode to Big Ian

Good riddance Big Ian
You were always a bane
No more need be said
So soon you’ll be dead

Saint Patrick's Day Is Here Again!

And so we are into March again and I for one am all excited about the huge party and celebrations planned by Belfast City Council, (BCC) for Saint Patrick’s Day. This year BCC have exceeded even my wildest dreams with a packed programme of Celtic-themed events that the whole family can enjoy.

The big day begins with a magnificent, colourful parade through the city with floats depicting all aspects of Irish culture and history. Bands will play traditional Irish music as they wind their way through the city streets to Sailortown, (Cathedral Quarter), where Irish legends, The Chieftains will headline a free concert for all the people of the city. Other acts booked to perform are The O’Toole School of Irish Dancing and the Irish Women’s Holy Choir. It should be an amazing day, show-casing all that is positive and good about our Irish culture.

BCC have even offered to remove the Union Jack from Belfast's city hall for the day, in a gesture of friendship and mutual respect. Credit where credit is due, I say.

The celebrations of the biggest day in Ireland’s calendar will begin at midday and will continue on into the wee small hours so get plenty of sleep the night before because, both BBC and UTV will cover the entire event live and will show highlights on both channels later that evening. I’m sure you will want to see yourself and your delighted kids on television, enjoying the wonderful family day of fun and frolic.

Um, er, um, er, I may have got a tiny bit mixed up in some of the details of my previous paragraphs. Belfast City Council have booked a 19 year old hip hop rapper from London as the star act. His speciality (whoever he is) is the Grime form of rap, so that should be sort of, er, good. A never-before heard of Romanian band will also perform a form of music that I am sure we will all appreciate also. It's good to be inclusive and exposed to new things, so that's, um, good too.

The Union Jack will continue to fly illegally on the big day but, Irish tricolours are prohibited at the parade as are Irish shirts or hats or anything else that might infer anything Irish. The world-wide tradition of celebrating Irishness on Saint Patrick's Day will not be the case in this part of Ireland. Instead, the theme has been changed to "Spring" and there is a promise of lots of spring flowers and "Huge Butterflies" in the carnival parade.

There will also be a patronising concert at the Waterfront Hall that evening for those that know their place and know how to behave. These people would be outraged to the point of tutting or possibly writing a letter of complaint to the Daily Trumpet, if they didn’t get at least a free gig that night, away from the unwashed riff raff.

The PSNI have promised to keep to their tradition of providing an annual riot in the Holy Lands, where they will arrive heavy-handed in body armour and with attack-dogs to force Irish students off the streets. No loud Irish music or celebration of any kind will be tolerated in their own area and the students will be blamed for being drunk and noisy in the first place.

(Hmmm? I wonder why the drunken hoards that line the public route and leave the streets knee deep in urine; vomit, discarded food and packaging; condoms, used syringes, and empty alcohol cans and bottles every year on the Twelfth of July, never face this treatment? The PSNI are happy to stand among them to chat and watch as the Glorious Twelfth is celebrated with deafening music and a certain form of dancing all day and into the night. They will stand and warm their hands at the flaming bonfires topped with Irish tricolours and which pollute the air and destroy the roads and everything else they touch. The full resources of BCC are brought to bear to clean it all up very quickly, as soon as the drunks fall into bed. Maybe if the Irish students left their own area; rioted a bit more ferociously and caused lots more damage, then they would be appeased with grants and free fireworks from the city council too)!

So I hope that clears up the few, slight discrepancies I may have made initially. I am sure we will all still feel great at the free and unfettered expression of our national identity on Ireland’s biggest day.

By-the-way, the application date has now passed for those artists wishing to apply to Belfast City Councils', Good Relations Partnership, for their `Irish History and Heritage` artwork project.

The council had invited artists to submit expressions of interest in the project. The completed artwork will be displayed this coming July, in Belfast City Hall, which reopened last October after an £11 million refurbishment programme.

While the theme of the new art work is `Irish History and Heritage`, the council stressed that it is open to interpretation and not prescriptive. "The budget for this commission is £20,000, which is inclusive of all fees and expenses, VAT, insurance, travel costs and cost of fabrication and installation". Did I mention the £11 million spent on the refurbishment?

Councillor Maire Hendron, (Alliance Party) Chairman, (Surely they meant Chairperson?) of Belfast City Council`s Good Relations Partnership, gushed enthusiastically, “I`m excited about this commission for a new piece of art for our wonderful building. This art work will contribute to making people feel this is truly a City Hall for all.”

So if you’re an Irish artist who can cut costs by creating your masterpiece from empty toilet-roll tubes and sticky-back plastic, in your back garden shed and be very careful not to cut yourself because you can’t afford insurance, then this might be for you. Utilising other bits and bobs that you might find lying around will also reduce costs.

You will have to limit the scale of the piece, due to tax and VAT and the cost of fabrication of your work. You will also need to take into account the cost of buying two unemployed and thirsty mates a few pints. They can help you lessen the travel costs of towing your work to the city hall and also to help nail it to one of the walls of the magnificent building before connecting and running the electric cable to a safe distance away, behind something concrete, before switching it on. Don't worry though - no one is expecting anything as grand as The Angel of the North!

After all that, you might actually have a few quid left for yourself. It will probably be best if there is nothing really too overtly Irish about the work so that it can blend in nicely with the UDR stained-glass windows and general British decor throughout. I can't wait to see the finished piece in it's highly visible position.

Finally on BCC, (for now) - Congratulations to Andersonstown News, (ATN) and North Belfast News, (NBN) for pointing out that BCC had been insulting the queen of England by flying the Union Jack upside down! A brand new flag was quickly turned the right way up and now flies in the face of us all just as illegally but, more correctly, than it did before.

Those silly olde city fathers had been looking a bit stupid really until The New Sinn Fein, newspaper staff got on the ball and got things turned round the right way again. Never let it be said that ATN and NBN are less than sycophantic protectors of their leaders beneath the dome.

Full marks to Mr. O' Muilleoir and friends for getting that quickly put right. I understand that they had some convincing to do but, they got it sorted out in the end. We wouldn't have wanted all those tourists continuing to take photographs to take home and show their friends, of such an oversight and insult to the British crown, now would we? So, well done you!

Making Peace With Your Enemies but, Not Your Friends.

Barely had the first shovel of earth been dropped on the coffin lid of Derry man Kieran Doherty when the rush to issue the most vociferous condemnation began by those seeking publicity and the approval of some hidden higher powers. Deputy First Minister of the Northern Ireland Assembly, Mr. Martin McGuinness was among those issuing the first flurry. He stood up in Stormont Castle and without measure, spat venom at the republican militants responsible for the killing.

There was no sign of the experienced politician and chief negotiator who could diffuse potentially difficult disagreements and bring quiet understanding and diplomacy to a problem. The man who has spent the past twenty years becoming friends with and understanding the representatives of those who discriminated against, tortured and murdered nationalists/republicans for centuries, showed no tact or skills that might quieten things down. Instead he chose to attack and provoke a bad situation into something potentially much worse.

Mr McGuinness called his former comrades, “.... just a gang of people with no lives who represented nobody” and went on, "This is a gang of people who are opposed to peace, who are opposed to justice and who are opposed to political progress and these are a gang of people who believe that it's a legitimate political objective to destroy all of the good work that many of us in this house have been engaged in with the assistance of others over the course of the last 15 years,” No sign of an olive branch there then! Not much in the way of understanding or trying to calm things down. He didn't forget to get the "Dissident" word in either during the extended version of his rant.

If this attack was designed to please someone then the question has to be asked, who? Surely it is the responsibility, if not the imperative of any politician, to try to use all their skills and contacts to try to stop difficult and dangerous situation from getting out of hand. This is what Mr McGuinness constantly lectures us all about. His work, (he oft tells us), and all those in “This House” (?) has always been to talk to each other and to negotiate an agreement through listening and understanding. Why is this not the case then with his former republican comrades?

Spiteful bile aimed at those who feel,(rightly or wrongly) disenfranchised and angry, is not the way to a resoloution. The nouveau riche and powerful, who mock those outside of the Stormont establishment view and who cat-call at them for having "no lives," are not trying to help the situation. This tactic was utilised for decades against Mr McGuinness's own party and it achieved nothing but, more misery.

It's very easy to be happy with your lot as you look through the tinted windows of your chauffeur-driven car at the world. Never having to pay a food bill or consider the expense of having a life can skewer a mans view. It can remove him from being in touch with reality. It can also make a man fight more fiercely and viciously than he ever has before, to protect and preserve his new way of life and all that it offers.

I don’t know who Martin McGuinness was trying to appease and please with this scathing and inflammatory attack. Throwing petrol onto the barely simmering embers of trouble, is exactly the opposite of what is needed to be done. He is not stupid and he knows that very well. So why did he do it? Did he simply get a rush of blood to his head and in the sumptuous halls of Stormont decide to issue a unilateral proclamation, or did he just lose the plot? Maybe it was just to get a pat on the back from his boss, Peter.

The truth about the background and circumstances of so many killings here will never be known for sure. Counter insurgency tactics were a huge part of MI5’s war here and nothing has changed in that regard except that they have relocated here and set up home permanently now. The essence of MI5’s modus operandi is to divide; confuse and mislead while they attack from within. They have proven themselves very adept at such things in the past. All we can know for sure is that we surely don’t know.

Maybe in the coming days and weeks someone with a titter of wit will try the art of diplomacy and quiet understanding to rid us of this blight of violence. Mr McGuinness has told us all many times that, ”You do not make peace with your friends – you make peace with your enemies”. Let’s see if he will calm down and follow his own advice when it comes to dealing with his former comrades, or if that advice is only meant in reference to the British and unionists.

Besides all the depressing stuff - I hope you all have a great March.
White Rabbit, White Rabbit, White Rabbit.

The Killing of Kieran Doherty

May all the Gods rest Kieran Doherty. I never knew nor heard of the man while he was alive but, his family and friends will grieve with all the genuine heartache and sorrow that the sudden and horrific loss of a loved one brings. Thankfully I cannot begin to imagine the pain they must be enduring at this time and the pain that will stay with them for a long time to come but, I hope they find the strength somehow to bear it.

The organisation calling itself The Real IRA has tonight, (Thursday) admitted that it was responsible for the killing. It offered information to the media about Mr Doherty, which it claimed was true and which it believed justified the killing.

Enough bodies were disappeared or dumped on border roads and city streets in the past to make it clear that even if you then agreed with a strategy of executing certain people for certain alleged activities - plenty of mistakes were made. One mistake is one far too many. That’s not even beginning to take into account the terrible fact that in the very dirty war that went on here, MI5 and all the other British security services were wading knee deep in the blood of those they wanted out of the way and they had huge success in recruiting agents from within organisations to accuse and execute members of their own organisation. Nothing justifies the killing of Kieran Doherty. Those days are gone and not soon enough.

I don’t know who The Real IRA are, or what their ideology is and I sometimes get them confused with The 32 County Sovereignty Movement and yet another new group calling itself Oglaigh na h-Eireann. I am aware that all of these relatively new groupings have at some time or another said that their aim is to remove Britain from Northern Ireland by the use of armed struggle. The fact that something is said does not always make it so.

To have an ideology you must have all three elements that constitute an ideology. Without all three elements you cannot have an ideology:

(1) You have to know and understand the situation that you find yourself in at present.

(2) You have to know where you want to be and what achievements you want to attain in the future.

(3) You have to have a REALISTIC plan of action that will take you from the present to the future you desire.

It’s very clear that the third and most important element of having an ideology is missing from any public statements so far from any of these organisations and so we have no real way of knowing for sure if they actually have an ideology or not. Unless and until they produce one, it’s fair to assume they don’t have one. Without one it seems impossible for this or any other group to allege that it has a higher political purpose that justifies the use of violence.

Of course there will be an even bigger crowd of politicians and commentators tomorrow, rushing red-faced to get on television and radio to churn out yet more crocodile tears for a man they never knew nor heard of. For the vast majority of them, their only interest is publicity for themselves or a free kick at their opponents. Trying to make political capital out of someone else’s distress is sickening. It was true for all those years of the war and it's just as true today.

The family and friends of Kieran Docherty have asked the media to stay away from their home and not to contact them. Let’s hope they are afforded that.

My hope is that there are no more left like Kieran Doherty was and no more families left to pick up the pieces. The hope is that the people who carried this attack out will stop and think of all that has passed and all that was achieved. Maybe they will even stop and think of all that was NOT achieved and cannot be achieved now.

There are huge differences of opinion among republicans since the ending of the armed struggle and the beginning of the campaign for Stormont by New Sinn Fein. It’s perfectly healthy and in-keeping with being a good republican to debate and fiercely disagree – even fundamentally – on the direction New Sinn Fein have travelled. There are many who could never vote for a DUP/New SF ticket and all that that means but, the truth is that armed conflict will not improve on the situation and will only bring more misery and darkness to those utilising it and those who are victims of it.

Jesus Christ Gerry - What Next?!

Big Gerry Adams kicked off the Channel 4 series, The Bible: A History last night and kicked off His big shoes that He had been “ploughing in all day” to swish His big sweaty kebs around in the filthy, polluted waters of the River Jordan. It was a strange thing to watch and kind of uncomfortable. I was reminded of David Frosts’ comment regarding President Nixon, “The man suffered from total lack of any real personality outside of politics”.

Big Gerry cut a linear one-dimensional figure that parroted and regurgitated old republican clichés about Sinn Fein being once an underground movement and the tomb of Jesus being like a Long Kesh Tunnel. He seemed totally unable to think outside His own narrow experience of Northern Ireland. It was a case of me; me, me, me, me, me and did I remember to mention ME?!

Jesus and the bible did get a bit of a look in with Big Gerry reading drone-like from the Gospels and talking about how Christmas was ruined now that it was revealed that Jesus was most likely born in Nazareth and not on December 25th. He also commented on how Barrabas could be seen by some as freedom fighter and not a terrorist. A bit like Big Gerry Himself again really, me, me, me!

I can’t say with any certainty how flattered Jesus and Barrabas must feel to be talked about and compared to Big Gerry Himself but, I’m sure that Big Gerry feels a lot better about Himself now that He has given some credit to these two biblical dudes for all His own achievements in Northern Ireland.

He told us how He had forgiven those who had hurt Him and how we all need the capacity to forgive and be forgiven. Wonder where He heard that one?

It’s not difficult to see why this man has never given too much away about His private life or why He has never given any insights into His personality outside of His military and political life. He has nothing to say that’s interesting and if He hadn’t had the constant prepping and guidance of those behind Him and above Him pulling His strings all these years, then He may well have been found today having been promoted from glass-washer to pulling pints in the Duke of York Bar where He would talk, talk, talk to any punter who would listen to Him about er, um, er, um, Himself.

To be honest though I can’t say I blame Him – if someone had offered me a free all expenses paid holiday in the Holy Lands and ten grand spending money, I would have been away in a shot , (blank cartridge of course) to talk complete shite too! Nice work if you can get it.

Myths and Claims

Recently in the media it has been inferred that IRA volunteers and members of the republican family/community were forbidden to contact the RUC under any circumstances about anything. Some commentators inferred that this was the position of the republican leadership and was understood and accepted by all in the republican community. This myth was offered as a reason why certain alleged crimes by certain alleged republicans and those who were aware of them, were kept secret. I have never been aware of an actual IRA volunteer or leader who has expressed this law at ay time during the conflict. In fact quite the opposite was true in numerous circumstances.

IRA volunteers were correctly and actively encouraged to make complaints to their solicitors against the RUC and Special Branch when they had been abused and tortured by them. This was intended to result in court cases against the RUC/Special Branch/British Army. This tactic was intended to maximise the amount of cases won in court against them so that international opinion could be influenced and mobilised against British torture. It was also a means to clog up the legal system and often resulted in financial rewards for successful compensation claims. A further benefit was that it could put pressure on the interrogation staff and their masters to reduce the amount and extent of torture used on volunteers. Utilising the Northern Ireland legal system itself to fight against the inherent injustice of the Northern Ireland legal system was a perfectly good strategy and no one had any problem with that after the "Refuse to Recognise the Court" days were over.

IRA volunteers and supporters were also encouraged to claim for social security payments to increase their personal security after they had been contacted by the RUC to inform them that they were officially being informed that loyalist death squads intended to kill them. The volunteer would have to make a statement that the RUC were aware that loyalists now had their personal details. The volunteer or community member would have to tell the social security staff that the RUC would be the witness to confirm the death threat and this would secure a payment for security equipment to be installed at the intended victims’ home.

During the conflict anyone who ever had their car stolen or hijacked or their house broken into, had to go to the RUC to make an official complaint and to give all information pertaining to the crime or it would be impossible to have an insurance claim or any kind of financial reimbursement. This was also the case for the thousands of houses that were taken over by the IRA for operations - if there had been any damage caused to the property. The same was true of anyone whose giro social security payment went missing in the post – the RUC had to be contacted and a statement made or no new giro could be issued.

All these examples and more were common knowledge and commonly utilised as the norm. All volunteers and all members of the community and anyone else were of course expressly forbidden under any circumstances to contact the RUC with information about IRA operations or activities. That was very different indeed from the everyday necessary registering of civil complaints about everything from a drunken husband punching his wife in the face, or a drunken wife utilising her stiletto heel shoe to leave her husbands head like a golf ball, to even more serious civil crimes. Everyone knew and understood the difference.

There never was a law prohibiting contacting social services or the RUC when it came to civil offences or compensation claims would never have been the big industry that it was and still is here. So there must be some other reason why certain alleged crimes by certain alleged republicans were kept secret by other alleged republicans who claim that they knew all along about the allegations.

Car Bombs Will Not Achieve Freedom

Militant republicans seem sure to be responsible for the car bomb which exploded outside Newry court house last night. The huge bomb neither killed nor injured anyone which is at least something to be thankful for. The mortar bomb attack mounted by militant republicans in Newry in February 1985 and which resulted in the deaths of nine RUC personnel, did not free Ireland and this latest attack won’t achieve that either. The people who planned and engineered last nights device and those who risked their own and others lives delivering it to the courthouse where it was detonated, are at best misguided.

Violence by republicans achieved many things in Northern Ireland. In seventy years of the olde Unionist Stormont the only piece of legislation that a nationalist was ever able to succsessfully get passed, was regarding the protection of birds. Many people still choose to pretend that blatant sectarianism against catholic/nationalists did not exist. There are also many who would say that all those things are in the past and should be forgotten so that we can all make money and prosper happily together now.

The fact remains that we can get a clearer understanding of our present and where we hope to be in the future by taking account of our past. That’s not to say we should forever dwell in it but, it’s vital that we acknowledge it, learn from it and move on.

Catholic/nationalists were discriminated against in; Housing, education, employment, health and all aspects of life here. Nothing would ever have changed had it not been for the campaign by militant republicans. Those who try to minimise the positive achievements of the conflict are either British/unionist propagandists or are deluding themselves.

Those who profess to be nationalists and who attempt to belittle the achievements of the conflict here are numerous also and they have their own selfish interests for this. Tugging the forelock and bending the knee to the landlord can get a guy a good job still in this day and age. If he/she continually minimises and tries to rubbish republican efforts and successes then it can keep him/her in a job or secure further promotion. This is all the more ironic since they more than likely would not have had access to a university education or a career in the first place had it not been for the sacrifices of militant republicans. Still, for some it is better to live in self-imposed denial rather than accept that all that they own is the direct result of the sacrifice of those who own nothing.

That having been said, it is now obvious that the campaign for a 32 county socialist republic was never going to succeed and it is more than highly doubtful now that it was ever genuinely intended to. That ideal was surrendered along with IRA weapons and all the other sacrificed golden cows of republican ideology, and was replaced by a campaign for parity of esteem and the acceptance of Northern Ireland governed by locals on Britain’s behalf. As soon as the hunger strikers had been deemed to have sacrificed enough and reached the point where enough votes could be delivered for the New Sinn Fein leadership to get elected, then it was a forgone conclusion that the IRA would be disbanded and dumped. Jobs in Stormont would be the new goal.

This achieved, the New Sinn Fein leadership held yet another meeting and decided that it would be best to make a clear differentiation in the publics' mind between those who professed to fight for Irish freedom in the past and those who profess to fight for Irish freedom in the present. The Sinn Fein leadership which had always condemned the “politics of condemnation”, now labelled militant republicans as “Dissidents”. The British Government; MI5, RUC/PSNI, unionist politicians and all elements of the embedded media fell into line and agreed that this label would be used at all times and in all reports. This was no small achievement by New Sinn Fein and one that is worth thinking about.

So the embedded media and all the usual suspects in politics and the British security services rushed to comb their hair for the cameras and to rant and rave about the Newry court house bomb. Dissident this and dissident that was the order of the day. The old tactic of telling us how lucky the old pensioners were, not to be blown to bits and the children playing nearby and the disabled people who had just passed the spot was rolled out. They even added a new Polish element where a young Polish couple and their baby were interviewed about how lucky they were not to be killed! How all these people had been outside Newry court house late at night and had miraculously survived without a single scratch is beyond me, but it was on television so it must be true!

That car bomb should not have been left outside that court house. Not one more single shot should be fired by any republican of any hue. Ireland sadly will not be freed from British shackles (chains and monetary) by more violence and more loss of life. An Ireland completely free from British control and influence is impossible. No amount of car bombs or mortar tubes will change that now.

It is a tragedy that British/unionist leaders could not have brought themselves to give universal suffrage equally to all here in 1969. They would have never voluntarily given civil rights and equality to catholic/nationalists. It had to be fought for and achieved on the backs of the thousands of dead from all sides involved in the dirty, filthy conflict. All those dead and injured victims could have been avoided it now seems.

Given two choices in relation to Ireland, Britain has historically always chosen that which is worst for the Irish. Sadly it now seems that the New Sinn Fein leadership were slowly but, surely negotiating to ensure that there could be no viable alternative to their new arrangement with the British. Violence is no longer an option to achieve freedom and it is highly doubtful that it was ever intended to achieve anything other than New Stormont.

Belfast City Council

I never liked going into Belfast city centre when I was a youngster. Being stopped at the cage gate at Castle Street and searched was as degrading as it was meant to be. Your arrival at this particular gate indicated that you were coming from nationalist west Belfast and so were to be afforded particular attention and hassle from the foreign and domestic searchers. Passing through the cage into the town wasn’t the end of it. Being stopped and searched at every single shop doorway was a nuisance to everyone but, when you dressed and had the distinctive dander and attitude of a Westy, then you could expect to be followed everywhere you went around town. The assumption was that you would at the very least try to plant a firebomb or maybe even nuke the whole town. Going to shop for a pair of Wranglers wasn’t easy with a line of security voyeurs behind you. If the jeans didn’t fit then it was bad luck because there was no way you would risk trying anything on. They would have to be returned later by a sister or by your Mum.

The town wasn’t ours and we were made to feel that every single time we went into it. We couldn’t even go to the cinema because you risked having to fight your way back to Castle Street or be beaten up, if you left at the end of the movie instead of standing to attention as the British national anthem was played. Thank God for the peace process because the town belongs to all of us equally now – or does it?

I have cause to be in Belfast city centre most days of the week and I feel my stomach turn and churn a little each time. I have welcomed and shown friends from other countries around Belfast and I always get that sick feeling when they want to take photos of Belfast City Hall. This is the point where all my nationalist spin about Belfast goes down the drain.

“It’s the British Union Jack so this is a part of the UK”, they always say. I used to try to give a potted history of how we now have equality and parity of esteem and all that but, I don’t believe that myself any longer and so don’t waste my breath any more.

Every single day of the year this flag flies over the most photographed building in Belfast. Every visiting tourist will take away this image and its’ intended inference - this is Britain!

It’s illegal. This flag should only legally be flown on up to nineteen days of the year on government buildings. There are twenty-two elected representatives proclaiming themselves to be Irish nationalists in Belfast City Council. They are all happy to walk into work each day underneath this illegal flag and remain silent.

The biggest single party – New Sinn Fein, has fourteen elected representatives and all of them either ignore it or pretend they don’t see this provocative emblem flying in all our faces every single day. How many single seconds would the tri-colour be allowed to fly from this building without an uproar and swift removal?

It is illegal and shameful. These elected representatives should hang their heads in abject shame for their complicity in subjecting us to this. The Union Jack should be removed and only tolerated if necessary, on the legal nineteen days.

It would be too much to hope that the Flags and Emblems Act would be utilised to afford the flying of the Irish tri-colour as well, in the interests of decency and fair play. There is as much hope of that Act being delivered as any other that so-called nationalist politicians have negotiated. Emptying the bins and cleaning the streets of anything nationalist keeps them busy. Under the flag and under the thumb seem to be the wages of political sin.

Gerry, Marty and World Peace

“... he has made a major contribution to one of the most important peace processes in the world today”.

That’s how the cherubic Martin McGuinness of New Sinn Fein, today described the role played by his mate Gerry Adams in stabilising and reaffirming the country of Northern Ireland during their process of the peace.

Since Marty has been by the side of Gerry all along this particular garden path then it stands to reason that he therefore views himself as having made the same contribution to copper-fastening partition, giving Irish nationalist consent for the first time in history to Britain’s ownership of the six north-eastern counties and of course world peace. Next they will claim to have solved world hunger, poverty and to want dearly to help orphans. Is there to be a bikini-clad interview next on the steps of Stormont?

Maybe one of the British “securocrats” (Marty's invented term all by himself, grin, grin in a self-satisfied manner) or an American politician with time on their hands and free call-time left on their mobile has told Marty that what he is involved in up at Stormont is a major world event. No doubt he would want to believe such a ridiculous idea. In between free lunches and free, er, um ,er, everythings, he would enjoy sitting back with a free cup of tea and feeling good inside himself about his huge achievements. He can’t of course tell everyone that this is how he views himself and his role but, he can make it clear to us all by utilising Gerry by proxy. Slick move for a man that needs to convince himself that what he is doing is not only good for the country of Northern Ireland that he has helped create but, also reinforces in his mind that he is a shining beacon to the rest of the world on how to solve issues of freedom and the right to national self-determination.

When you’ve done something wrong and you are about to do something to make it even worse then sometimes a deviant mind can convince a fellow that what was done to begin with was not wrong at all. Then, what is about to be done now is not worse but, actually much better due to it being an even more progressive step than the first good deed. If you can get your head round this paragraph and its’ inherent dogma and realise it’s the waste matter of bovine males, then your still in control of your own mind. You must be a genius – or maybe I’m just patronising you in order to throw flowers at myself. Now what kind of man would do something like that?

The Biggest Show in the Country!

Back in the day when good sense and taste were lost to youthful exuberance and a critical fashion by-pass, my friends and I were guilty of serious and sustained crimes against co-ordinated dress codes. Electric-blue wide-leg, parallel trousers would be cut to fit exactly to the top of our eighteen eye-hole Doctor Marten boots. I have no idea why we did this nor have I any concept of how we possibly believed it made us look anything less than ridiculous. The multi-coloured striped tank-top worn over a screaming red shirt with Harry Hill collar, seemed at that time to be the perfect frame to highlight the black shoelace necklace. The shoelace held the solid steel letter of the alphabet that denoted the first letter of our name. How any of us ever got to leave a girl home is beyond me but, it must have been a quirk of nature that the females at that time had no better idea of fashion than we had. We knew no better and so were blissfully and innocently content in the belief that we were no less than Gods gifts to women.

My mother had other ideas that conflicted with my false reverie. “You’re making a show of yourself and your making a show of me. You’re destroying good trousers by cutting the legs off them and wasting my money into the bargain” she would yell exasperated. “People are laughing at you for ruining your own clothes and goin’ out like that”. It wasn’t until many years later as I cringed looking at the old photographs that I realised she was right – I was “A Show”. My excuse is that I was only a kid and peer pressure played no small part in it and I eventually reached maturity and caught myself on. It seems that some others have failed to recognise or rectify the “Making a show of yourself” syndrome.

Stephen Nolan of BBC Radio Ulster and BBC Radio 5 Live is a grown man and yet he continually boasts over the public airwaves that he is the, “Biggest Show in the Country”. Leaving aside his appearance and fashion-sense he seems not to realise and therefore not to care how most people interpret this claim.

It is racially insulting to the forty-five per cent of people in the north who describe themselves as Irish and who would not want the BBC to dictate on a daily basis the geographical borders and national identity of its radio listeners.

Northern Ireland is a politically loaded term that is utilised by only one section of the community. Equality and parity of esteem demands that this frequent daily assertion on the BBC be dropped completely or, the North of Ireland be given equal usage.

The crude and vulgar tackiness of this mans programme is sometimes as unavoidable as the witness trying to avert their eyes away from the ugliness and horror of a car crash. No subject is too sensitive or beyond his manipulation and reduction to sensationalist garbage. Goading listeners into extreme responses both for and then against an issue is a clever way to keep the lines hot with calls and the hunger of an ego-maniac nourished.

Some people get a bit of craic out of this kind of radio and that’s fair enough. Each to their own I say but, Mr Nolan should not be allowed to use the BBC to ram his personal perception of Northern Ireland down our throats. The legal status of the six north-eastern counties is one thing but, the BBC is supposed to be impartial and receptive to the sensibilities and traditions of all who live here.

My electric-blue trousers were no less garish than The Nolan Show. They were hugely popular for a time. As time moves on we progress and learn from the mistakes we made. We try more and more to make less and less of A Show of ourselves. For reasons he still hasn’t grasped, in at least one true respect he really is “The Biggest Show in the Country”.

Robinson and McGuinness Hold Hands

How many more twists and turns could there possibly be regarding the sensational revelations of the past week? Barely had I buttered my cream crackers and sat down to browse the latest update, when my jaw dropped and my pupils dilated - Martin McGuinness was now being romantically linked to Iris Robinson!?

One link-click later and my palpitations began to subside as I realised that the by-line was a reference to Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness finally having gotten around to doing the thing that we all suspected they had already done many times and probably had done only the night before, around tea time - they had gotten yet another room. This time though they had gone just a bit further together and revealed that they had indeed held hands.

Good for them I say and all the better at a time when Peter must have been feeling a bit out of the loop and decidedly lonely. When the going gets tough, the tough hold hands and let there not be a word said against it.

Words against it were few and far to be seen anyway. It seems that in some not so strange way, all the media attention on the little foibles and sexual conduct of our 108 men (and women) good and true, has led to the focusing of minds in a way never quite seen before now.

Far be it for one such as I to be cynical but, maybe the revelations and the rumours of much more to come has been just the kind of lubricant required to get an agreement on policing and justice and all those other apparently vitally important topics that most of us know nothing about. Will it effect the price of butter or the price per wrinkle of dulce I ask you?

The seemingly inStormontable will now be Stormonted and after all thats why we have been paying them shed-loads of money and ignoring all their misbehaviour and avarice in the first place.

The cradle has been rocked a bit and left many worrying that if the Robinsons can be de-throned with almost five minutes proper and professional journalism, then the other Stormonteers had better forget delusions of grandeur and remember that mortgages, foreign holidays, free meals and fast cars along with fast living, costs money that very few of them could ever hope to earn any other way.

Best to take the money and run for the next election, in agreement. It would be an appalling vista if the British security services and some elements of the embedded media here were accused of being in cahoots to force an agreement but, surely no one would ever believe such a ridiculous conspiracy theory. Now isen't that right?